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Dear Sista,

It has been an exciting week and I trust that all is well with you. Let’s talk.

Often times I get dragged into conversations on rape and sexual assault and every time, with insincere curiosity, I’m asked “Who is to be blamed?” especially when two adults are involved. Ridiculous question, right? Well, I don’t know where you stand on this but I’m persuaded by reality, facts and truth to maintain the opinion that regardless of the circumstances surrounding such case, the victim remains a victim and the culprit, and culprit alone, DESERVES TO AND MUST ALWAYS be blamed. In my opinion, sexual advances and engagements not mutually consented to should never be excused on the basis of factors like “inappropriate” dressing, intoxication or anything else. It’s quite illogical to exonerate or justify an act of theft based on the proximity or accessibility of the stolen item, or the perceived carelessness of the victim. Taking something that is not yours without obtaining the consent of the owner is theft, even if the item was conspicuously placed. So much can be said on this but sis, since this conversation is between us, it’s important that I share with you necessary precautions.

Sweet sis, I must emphasize that it’s pivotal that you begin to see your body as an embodiment of treasures and treat it as such. I’m not sweet talking you; you are a treasure chest and you will attract the attention, admiration and arouse the desire of all sorts. So you must know that with much value comes much attraction and with much attraction comes the need for much more security.

Sis, the streets are crawling with delusional sex-starved demonic vultures who will gladly take advantage of your carelessness so, you simply cannot afford to be careless or leave anything to chance. The scary truth is that NOTHING you do will guarantee your absolute protection from these wretched criminals. Like hardened robbers, they don’t mind cracking down your security with all sorts of strategies and staging a calculated assault, but it’s your duty to make the attempt a tough one. Besides, in the case of eventuality, you want to have a “valid” case.  What must you do? Protect yourself.

In this case, protection is everything and anything. For example, though we have different interpretations of what decency is when it comes to dressing, you must be careful not to lure danger. While it’s your prerogative to dress as it seems appropriate to you, you must be careful not to cast your pearls before pigs. Also, there is a consistent need for you to be aware of everything around you. Hence, you cannot afford to be given to substances that impair your sense of judgment. You must also be aware of the company you keep and the places you go. Then, learn the act of self-defense however little. At least, always have on you an item with which you can do some damage when necessary.

Sis, you don’t want to be perceived by our confused society as an accessory or cause of your own desecration. Though NOTHING guarantees anything, do what you can to stay clear. Above all, NEVER take responsibility for the callousness and greed of anyone. If you’re ever a victim, it is NOT your fault so get justice. DO NOT KEEP QUIET.

Stay safe and thrive. I love you

Yours Sincerely,



  1. Thumbs Up. Nice post…much more fruits

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