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Dear Sista,

How are you doing? The first of this letter series will be over in a bit and I have mixed feelings. But I know that you’ve been challenged, inspired and encouraged as I have been and I really cannot wait to hear about your growth experience through this journey. Today, I write to you about you- the palace pillar- a fusion of strength and beauty.

Sis, with the growing celebration of superficiality and the increasing emphasis on packaging at the expense of content, it is easy to be conflicted on who the 21st century woman truly is. Is she the boss lady who torments in the corporate world or the traditional  first lady whose sense of achievement is exclusively predicated on the  success story of a first man or the home lady whose understanding of purpose is exclusively domestically oriented? Or, is she a blend of these and more?

Well, despite the many interpretations given to the role of the woman over the years, God’s authorial intention has not changed. So whether it’s 10 BC or 345 AD, the 16th century or the 21st century, the ideal woman is a palace pillar.

Palace pillars are known for two things; support and beauty. A pillar without beauty is not fit for palaces just as a beautiful pillar that cannot give the needed support is useless. So, you must be a synergy of both qualities. Let’s talk about support for a minute.

It’s convenient to interpret support as subordination but these two words are not interchangeable. The support that a pillar offers a structure is not superficial, it is not always invisible and cannot be underplayed. This support can be as clear as day or subtle yet cannot be ignored. Importantly, this support comes from the strength cultured by inner reinforcement wrought with iron and concrete. Similarly, the support that is required of you is measured by the strength with which you hold structures in place which speaks to the quality of your inner strength. How strong and reinforced are you? How spiritually, physically, materially, financially, mentally built up are you to give needed support to the people and structures in your life?

Sweet sis, your mission in life is not to walk behind a man wearing matching outfits. You are not another trophy or testament to how good your man was at his game. In fact, your purpose is not to play mummy or sister or friend. Your mandate is to offer all manner of support to everyone and anyone around you as needed such that because you are in place and involved, nothing collapses or fails. This responsibility reminds us of the need to be strong and vast since we cannot offer what we do not have. Interestingly, the strength with which to give support is not a gift; it is cultured through a conscious and consistent consumption of the right knowledge and practice of enabling habits.

Then there is aesthetics. Where and when all pillars offer support, only those pillars with the best adornment and beauty are fit for the palace. In other words, you will determine your placement in life and the circles in which you function based on the finesse and furnishing you put and allow on yourself. This beauty speaks to the attention you pay not just to the details of your physical appearance but also the content of your character. It is scary yet exciting that we determine our placement in life. So we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for where, with whom or how we end up. It is therefore important that as we progress through life, we submit to the necessary pruning, carvings and shaping that will make us fit for places of honor.

Dear sista, the notion that we are worthless, insignificant, or exclusively subservient is a distortion of the truth. Without pillars, structural collapse is imminent. Also, the idea that we must work only behind the scenes is very incorrect. Palace pillars are conspicuous but beyond their visibility, they carry weight and they don’t look like the weight they carry. So we must pay attention to aesthetics as we offer strength and mind that nothing fails around us.

I remain your sista in refinement! Keep growing.

I love you

Yours sincerely,


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