Dear Mr God-Sent,
I hope you are happy and I hope you’re warming up for and working towards forever with me. I still don’t know why I’m writing this to you, but I hope you read it and I hope you take the hints. Darling, when it comes to life and love, we have a plethora of wants. Indeed, our wants as humans are unlimited, but when it comes to you and me, these three things I pray thee.
One, Love me and let me love you. I’m sure you saw that coming. I don’t know how else to say it but I just want to love you. And I’m not only interested in loving the good angles to you. I want to love of all you; everything on the menu. I want to make you my priority and pour my strength into you. I want to be there for you through thick and thin even as I nurse you into greatness. I want to be your intellectual and emotional source of satisfaction. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, I want to treat you so right so much that you worry for nothing. I want to love you and I need you to love me enough.
Darling, love me enough to make me your priority. Love me enough to show me off to your world. Love me enough to be kind and gentle with me. Love me enough to be all kinds of hard when you need to. Love me beyond my flaws. Love me enough to help me grow and grow with me. Tell it to me as often as you should and show it to me with the simplest of gestures. Love me like Christ loves the church and let me love you right back.
Two, Trust me and let me trust you. Darling, beauty attracts so the boys will always hang around and the girls won’t stop making their rounds but our commitment to each other must not fail. I want an assurance in my heart that you are exclusively mine and I need you believe that I am entirely yours. Sweetheart, don’t tell me to trust you, just show me. I want to be entirely naked with you and feel safer than I am when clothed. I’ve got to know that my secrets are safe with you. I want to know that you won’t judge me by my past mistakes or use my weaknesses against me. I want to be your one and only confidant. Let me trust you and trust me right back. Trust me enough to defend me. Trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. Trust me enough to share all of you- visions, assets, fears, body, everything- with me. Trust me and let me trust you.
Three, Respect me and let me respect you. Submission to your authority is a sacrifice I’m willing to make under God for us, but you must not take me for granted. I want to be your partner and I want to nurse you in every way that I can, but I need you to treat me with all sense of value. I will make sacrifices to make and keep you happy. I will stay true to my calling to help you yet, you must treasure me because I validate your receipt of God’s favor. I am help, celebrate me. I really don’t know how to demand respect from you but I’m certain I’ll deserve it. Honey, know that in addition to you being my ministry, I also have other ministries. I hope you’ll respect that. Also, equal treatment of all humans regardless of gender dichotomization is a big thing to me, I hope you respect that in our relationship and keep it in view when we raise our children. I hope you’ll respect me enough to regard my need for space and “me time” alone or with friends. I hope you respect me enough to treasure every member of my family as I do yours. I hope you respect me enough to esteem me in the presence of your family and friends as you do when we are alone. I hope you understand that I am a reflection of who you are and treat me the same way you will treat yourself.
Darling, I have opinions and even though I choose to defer to you, don’t shut me out. You will lead me not because you are a man but because you are my man. I will lead my world to battles in my field and be the Deborah in stilettos, but when I come home I’ll treat you as my king because you are my Lapidoth. Even when I’m mad at you, I will never speak ill of you to your face or to third parties, not even our children, because I will treasure you. Just remember that as your crown, I am the definition of your worth, so be good to me and you’ll be glad you put a ring on it.
Finally darling, as our faces differ so do our wants but give me these three things and I promise you a heaven-scripted marriage classic featuring you and me. Love me, trust me, respect me and let me do the same for you. Till we take that magical walk down the spiritual aisle that leads to the gate where forever begins, I’ll be your maiden in waiting. I’ll be working, growing and saving all my love for you.
Yours and yours exclusively,